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hi!!! i'm ethan

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a cyber angel from the life dimension, trapped in mortal flesh and wielding the power of INFINITE LOVE.

on the internet I go by computer games, chillerbag, ars arcanum, or drones in the sky over new jersey. I'm a software engineer increasingly trying to become better at my creative pursuits in and outside programming as I find it the ultimate fulfilment. This site is raw html, css, and js. I want to do more of it in js but I don't have any concrete ideas right now. It's also still under construction!

Every other day I'm wonderin:

what's a human being gotta be like?

what's a way to just be competent?

these sweet instincts

ruin my life.

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currently reading

The Accursed Share from Georges Bataille. It's a bit of a mindfuck that puts into perspective how much economic principles in their seemingly extrinsic nature are deep rooted in a understanding of the "totality" of humanity. I'm up to vol 3. In vol 1 Bataille is concerned with defining the nature of transactions in all function, by which our constant excess energy demands glorious waste. Also defines what production is "useful" (of which there is not much). In vol 2 eroticism becomes the vessel by which we delve deeper into humanity, specifcally, how it commands a reflection of our animal nature and concluding that our horror of our animal origins is a necessary indulgence, but in erotic moments, the gaze into the animal components is what truly makes us human.

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currently watching

Girls' Last Tour. It's cute! not got that many thoughts atp. It's nice to think that after the end of everything you'll at least have a friend to keep you company amidst the weight that nothing matters anymore and never will again. Its about being there for each other, even if thats just messing around.

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currently playing

Fire Emblem Awakening!!! This game rules. I really do enjoy the characters and their interaction, and I couldn't have gotten into it without that element. I really don't want any of my little guys to die! The characters are so great that it makes you really delve into the depths of the strategy in this game, because you don't wanna lose them and interactions with them! (esp if you have headcanons about who will marry who and second gen units).