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hi!!! i'm ethan

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a cyber angel from the life dimension, trapped in mortal flesh and wielding the power of INFINITE LOVE.

on the internet I go by computer games, chillerbag, ars arcanum, or drones in the sky over new jersey. I'm a software engineer increasingly trying to become better at my creative pursuits in and outside programming as I find it the ultimate fulfilment. This site is raw html, css, and js. I want to do more of it in js but I don't have any concrete ideas right now. It's also still under construction!

Every other day I'm wonderin:

what's a human being gotta be like?

what's a way to just be competent?

these sweet instincts

ruin my life.

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currently reading

On Literature and Art. Like a pious follower, in a time of crisis I turn to my priestly saints. I want to know if Marx would think Super Monkey Ball could be produced under communism, or frivolous non-purposeful art in general. I think constructivist approaches work well in the transitional period, but what kind of art exists under fully fledged communism?

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currently watching

Revue Starlight. uhh. You know when you're a kid and you imagine your very banal activites as some grand battle and the people in your class as these kind of unique antagonists and protagonists? That's what revue starlight is about, the magical realism we conjure up in our own minds to make the standardness of existence tolerable. Well I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle. It's pretty and surprisingly absurd.

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currently playing

Radiant Silvergun - I haven't played many shmups in the past. The interesting thing about them is like traditional beat em ups, the enjoyment of the art is fundamentally gated by having a high skill and memorisation of repeated levels. You only see the beauty after having beaten it a few times, and perhaps only truly when you 1cc the shmup. You learn to really love every boss and see the design of the bullet patterns and levels. Extremely satisfying, addictive, and beautiful if you give yourself time to harmonise with the game.